Today is a big day in The Flat Overlooking The Vals River.  It is the wife’s birthday today, ushering the twenty-nine days of the year where she gets to say that she is older than me.  For the next month I have to lay down my mantle of patriarchal authority and defer to her in all things because, you know, we have to respect our elders and all that.  (For reasons of health and safety (mine) I can’t tell you how old she is (she actually reads this rag), but I can tell you that I am thirty-one.)

As I watch my dearly beloved advance in years I sit back and once more appreciate the fact of my youth.  Some embittered old person once said that youth is wasted on the young.  I have decided to stop wasting mine.  I am going to follow the wisdom of the book of Ecclesiastes which says, “Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes…” (Eccl 11v9, KJV).

You see, you’re only young once.  As the ball-and-chain can very well attest, as you grow older your body starts to break down and your faculties start to dim.  You no longer have the energy to attempt new things and your ability to learn new skills and absorb new ideas diminish with every passing year.  I am going to make the most of the time I have left before I also reach the decrepit state of my significant other.

I am now in that biological sweet spot that comes around only once.  I am young enough that when people speak of “youth” that term still includes me, but old enough that I can address adults by their first names.  I still have strength, energy and mental agility, but also sufficient experience and wisdom to know what to do with it.  Now is the time in my life to try new things, to take risks, to leap out over the abyss and fly.  Who knows what I can achieve?

For the ancient of days who shares my bed it is already too late.  Her ship has sailed as she succumbs to the ravages of time.  But I still have a chance to make my mark in this world, and by Gallifrey, I’m gonna do it.  I’m going to rejoice in my youth and follow my heart and the sight of my eyes.  Who knows where it will take me?

Mayhap I might even blow some new life into the old one so she can join me in the adventure that lies ahead.  Sometimes it is possible to teach an old dog new tricks, after all.

I’m not going to waste a single moment more, so I bid you adieu until we meet again.  I’m off to change the world, starting with making a lemon meringue for this afternoon’s face-stuffing session (have I ever mentioned that I’m incredibly multi-talented?).

If you’re reading this, get up, go do something, enjoy your youth (unless you’re like incredibly old, in which case, my sincere sympathy).  Make a difference.  Carpé freakin’ diem!

• A Bit Of Silliness