On what happens when a spambot breaks down

Spambots.  We all know and despise them.  Every once in awhile we get these comments on posts that make these vague statements about how they liked our posts and then, in my experience, there’s usually a link to some sight that promises to increase traffic to your blog in exchange for a fee.

Apparently these bots also have a random message generator.  I know this because one of them made a comment on my post yesterday.  It made every comment that it can possibly make.  At once.

Here’s just a little extract:

{I have|I’ve} been {surfing|browsing} online more than {three|3|2|4} hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours. {It’s|It is} pretty worth enough for me. {In my opinion|Personally|In my view}, if all {webmasters|site owners|website owners|web owners} and bloggers made good content as you did, the {internet|net|web} will be {much more|a lot more} useful than ever before.

In some places it seems EVERY word in the comment was optional:

I {couldn’t|could not} {resist|refrain from} commenting. {Very well|Perfectly|Well|Exceptionally well} written!|{I will|I’ll} {right away|immediately} {take hold of|grab|clutch|grasp|seize|snatch} your {rss|rss feed} as I {can not|can’t} {in finding|find|to find} your {email|e-mail} subscription {link|hyperlink} or {newsletter|e-newsletter} service. Do {you have|you’ve} any? {Please|Kindly} {allow|permit|let} me {realize|recognize|understand|recognise|know} {so that|in order that} I {may just|may|could} subscribe.

It continues like this for SIX PAGES!

Now, I hate spam as much as the next person and am very thankful that WordPress.com has such a thorough spam filtering system in Akismet, but I have to admit I’m impressed.  If I consider how long it takes me to come up with six pages of fiction, I can truly appreciate the amount of work that went into compiling this drivel.

Then, of course, there’s the programming itself.  I took Computer Studies in high school and the programming component was done on Turbo Pascal.  I wrote quite a decent database program for my senior year project, but it took weeks of painstaking code compiling, copying almost every line of code from my programming manual.  I was not able to program in a limited-time exam scenario without the manual in the practical exams, however, and it’s only thanks to my near-perfect marks for the theory component that I passed the subject at all.

So, I can appreciate the skill and the knowledge that went into creating this bot, even if this one failed.  Many of them don’t.

So next time one of these automated messages appears in your spam folder, take a moment to acknowledge the skill and effort that went into creating it.  Then trash it.  It’s still spam, after all.

6 thoughts on “On what happens when a spambot breaks down

  1. Haha. I know what you mean. I’m actually researching this topic for a blog post of mine about “spam likers”—bloggers who don’t read your posts but like them anyway. And I swear to God, it opened my eyes; now I see spammers everywhere!

    1. That would be when you get likes but no views are actually registering on the stats page? I’ve also wondered about that one. By the way, I’ve already had two spam comments on this post. In both cases the spambots worked, though.

      Don’t worry, the poll doesn’t track IPs, so you should be safe from Chuck (I think).

      1. Yes. And WordPress seems to encourage this manner of shameless self-promotion. I’ve seen many “spam-likers” who have gone on to become Freshly Pressed.

        Anyways, I think I’ve ranted enough on your blog now. 😉

        P.S. One can never be safe from Chuck. lol.

  2. Woah I’ve never had a spam that is over six pages, that’s insane! I’ve never had ones with optional words either…at least I don’t remember having one like that.

    1. It’s supposed to only leave one short message. This one didn’t work right, so it left all the messages it can possibly leave at once. Thanks for voting 😀

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