Search term shenanigans I

I’ve been watching on jealously for a while now as some of the bloggers I follow periodically post some of the more interesting search terms that have led potential readers to their sites.  I also have been perusing my stats page regularly hoping for some wacky searches, but to no avail – they’ve all been depressingly boring and related to the topics I am writing about.  But at last I have a few that I consider worth sharing with you (though some of them are merely shameless self-promotion of some of my older posts).

i hate car troubles!
Ya know?  Me too.  While I did write about car troubles (twice) it’s an interesting search term to type into Google, don’t you think?

science fiction pilot fight spaceship dominion
Okay, I have written about science fiction, and I guess I might have used the words, pilot, fight and spaceship at some point of another.  But it again just seems a strange search string.

kokkieh blog  / kokkieh wordpress
I feel kind of flattered that someone had searched for my blog by name. (It wasn’t me.)

bs battery charger
In the car trouble posts I did mention buying a battery charger.  I did not, however, call battery chargers bs.  What do you think battery chargers did to upset this person so?

how to congratulate someone on their childs[sic.] birthday
Aside from the fact that someone felt it necessary to google this, here’s my opinion on the matter.

did nessun dorma inspire doctor who
I really don’t know.  My own Google search did reveal that with this particular search string my very first Song Title ChallengeNessun Dorma, is THE VERY FIRST SEARCH RESULT THAT APPEARS!  High five on that.

three teenagers play witches in salem movie
I didn’t write about this.  I did write a short skit with the same name as Arthur Miller’s play…

everything that was bad about the eighties
I was born in the eighties, so I’m quite fond of them.  Big hair, pants that come up to your navel, BZN, Roxette, floppy disks…what’s not to love?  (What on earth this has to do with anything I’ve written I have absolutely no idea.)

down to earth stories for wives out on the town

when to use a hammer and when to use something else
This guy apparently didn’t take woodshop in school.  Let me try and help:  if you’re dealing with a nail or a non-responsive Blackberry (scratch that – any Blackberry), use a hammer.  For a screw, use a screwdriver (hint – the clue is in the name).  For wire, pliers are best.  For a…never mind.  Just whack everything with a hammer.  The bigger the better.

dan brown’s hammer
I’m pretty sure Mr Brown owns a hammer.  I did not write about it.  I have written about his books, though.

2013 harley eighty-four review
I guess this guy got here thanks to my review of Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four, though how harleys fit into it I don’t know.

“her arm” sling
Your guess is as good as mine on this one.

what does: when all else fails get a bigger hammer mean
It means…are you paying attention?  GET A BIGGER FREAKING HAMMER!

crazy old man
Did I write about a crazy old man?  I did write about The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out Of The Window And Disappeared.

There are also 82 Unknown search terms recorded to date.  Those are from people who were browsing incognito when they got directed here and we all know the types of things they search for…

And that concludes my first installment of search term shenanigans.  I know they’re not that funny, but I’m sure that as this blog grows and more potential keywords are added the weirdness of search terms that link to this site will also increase.  Until then, go whack something with a hammer.