They say age is just a number. Today my number is 40.
People tend to hang a lot if significance on this particular number. It’s considered a milestone, much more than, say, 30.
It’s when the infamous midlife crisis is supposed to hit. I haven’t decided what mine is going to be yet…a sports car isn’t practical with the state most of South Africa’s roads are in and I just don’t have the time or energy for a mistress. I already tried the quitting my job to become a writer schtick in my early thirties, so that’s out. I’ll have to give this some thought and get back to you.
Supposedly it means I’m now indisputably an adult – no longer am I included when people add the young prefix to the word. But I still feel like a dumb kid without a clue and OMG how did anyone approve that guy for a home loan and they let him have a kid what’s this world coming to aren’t there any standards any more!?
Also, I got a children’s book and some lego for my birthday…
It’s not all bad, though… I’m two years away from being the answer to Life, the Universe, and Everything, so that’s something to look forward to…
Day 3. I am running out of time. No sight of the quarry yet. I did not expect this to be so hard. An inanimate object should not be this elusive. But it seems all the architects in this town did their work while smoking pot. And the realtors seem similarly stoned. Maybe it’s the heat.
I need to find something soon. For my wife’s sake. My child’s.
I’m dehydrated. I’m not sleeping any more. Yesterday I almost settled on a home with a room that can only be reached by ladder. I think the heat is getting to me.
I’m hopeful today will bring success. But I can’t help but feel I might not be the hunter here. As I drive down the street I can feel them watching me…stalking me…
Having been a dad for just over a week now I thought I’d share some of the wisdom I’ve acquired on poo raising babies, just in case it can help another soon-to-be-dad to navigate the poo new little human in his house. The faint of heart (meaning 95% of men reading this) might want to stop here…
Yesterday I went shopping for new jeans. Normally, it’s a simple affair. I prefer regular blue-jeans, not that pre-faded, pre-wrinkled, fancy stitched nonsense. Once in a while I’ll change things up and buy a dark blue/navy pair for when I feel like dressing up. I’ve always bought the same brand from the same store, an exercise that usually takes ten minutes, including time spent in the checkout queue.
Did you watch the first episode of Game of Thrones last night? Apparently it was already available on Saturday afternoon, along with episodes two, three and four. That’ll teach HBO to send advance copies to reviewers. According to TorrentFreak the first episode was downloaded over a million times during the first eighteen hours. So much for trying to keep anything secret in the digital age.
In 2012 Metro Trains in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia released a public service announcement in the form of a little animated video and song, titled Dumb Ways To Die. The video went viral on social media (in two years it has had over one hundred million views on YouTube), spawned a mobile game, and even yours truly have used it in a piece of short fiction.
The video has also inspired numerous parodies, the latest one featuring Game of Thrones which is, frankly, filled with dumb (or at least gruesome) ways to die. They have kept the words of the original, but the video depicts all of the most memorable deaths of the series thus far.
Spoiler alert: Don’t watch this if you haven’t yet watched season four/read A Feast for Crows. (And for goodness sake, stay away from the comments!)