an exercise in percussive maintenance
Tag: Parenting
Now play this on a loop for the rest of the day, and make sure you sing the “all the king’s horses” line EVERY. SINGLE. TIME!
It’s really cute, though, isn’t it? I’ve been changing it up, translating the line to Afrikaans (took the minion a couple seconds to process that, after which she just continued), or transcribing it to “all the king’s soldiers and all the king’s steeds” (that one threw her completely, but mostly just due to quickly-diminishing limitations in her English vocabulary…)
And I learned something important. Teeth release gas when they emerge. Methane, specifically. Copious amounts of the stuff. I mean, that little girl can clear a room at this stage. A ball room. I never thought I’d long for the days when the poo would stream out over my fingers in the middle of a diaper change…
But yes, over the weekend the first little incisor peeked its enamel-covered edge through those gums that have been aching and itching for weeks. We’ve only had a couple of glimpses – if we actually try to look Elizabeth clamps shut her mouth tighter than when I tried to adminiter those horrible antibiotics when she was sick. But it’s finally out, and every now and again I catch her exploring this new inhabitant of her mouth with her tongue. That’s when she’s not sticking anything else her hands can hold in her mouth.
I went to see my financial advisor today to set up a special savings account for the tooth fairy levies I’ll be obligated to start paying in about six years’ time. Six years don’t feel like that much, but what with inflation who knows what the going rate for a tooth will be in 2023? And kids have a lot of them, like over 20 or something!
A couple weeks ago our president delivered his State of the Nation address. It was sad. I’m not going to write about that.
I’ll much rather write about the State of The Minion. Squishy is called The Minion now. First, because she’s becoming less squishy every day, and second because she speaks fluent Minion. And third, I’ve decided to pursue a career in arch-villainy, and given the quality of minions available on the open market these days, one can’t start training them early enough. If she’s to inherit my evil empire one day, the sooner she starts learning the family business, the better. Haha! HaHaHa!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!
What was I talking about again? Oh, yes. The Minion.
…and almost forgot again today. But yesterday was acutally a very significant day and I can’t have it pass without marking it.
Yesterday a year ago two things happened that changed my life beyond imagining. I started working at Automattic, and I found out that I was going to be a dad.
It’s a bit of a tradition at Automattic to blog about working here on one’s anniversary, but that will need to stand over for a later date when I have time to do it properly. But let me just say for now that it has been one heck of a ride so far. And it’s all about the people.
The magic of WordPress does not lie in the software, but in the community that surrounds it, and inside Automattic is only a small part of that community, but a very special one. Never before have I worked with a group of people that cares so deeply both about the work that they do and about each other (and I say that as someone who at one point worked for the church).
And being a dad? Earlier this evening I was scrolling through my Facebook feed on my phone and came across this very true statement:
If parenting had a GPS, it would constantly be saying “Recalculating”
And aint that the truth!
Just when we think we’re figuring things out, Elizabeth goes and changes the tables on us. But every single moment has been worth it. Seeing her grow and develop has been such an incredible experience. She has the most joyous laugh and the sweetest little voice. And the way that she smiles when she sees me…
I’m pretty sure there isn’t much in this world I wouldn’t do for that little girl.
That’s it for now, but I’ll be writing some more on both of these soon!
I wanted to write something for Mother’s Day today, but am finding it surprisingly hard. I think what’s giving me problems is that it’s enormously difficult to write anything that’s not a mind-numbing cliché.
So, let me keep things very simple: You wouldn’t be here today without your mum. Literally. If you don’t believe me, go make friends with a Biology teacher. He’ll explain it to you.
You also wouldn’t be the person you are today without your mother (from here onwards read ‘whoever filled the role of mother in your life’). This includes your negative traits, by the way – mothers mess up.
If you’re so lucky that your mother is still alive, give her a call today. If she’s near enough, go visit and give her a hug. Even if at this point you don’t really like her (it happens – she might even deserve it), put your own feelings aside for a day and appreciate the good that she has done. Because you are who you are because of her. And one day she’s going to be gone and then you won’t have that chance anymore.
So to all the birth mothers, stepmothers, foster mothers, adoptive mothers, godmothers and even grandmothers out there: Happy Mother’s Day. We appreciate you even if we don’t always show it. Thanks for putting up with all our nonsense.
if all else fails...use a hammer 