The minion is currently running a shop out of a freezer box in our living room selling various baked goods.
When asked what something costs she replies, “Give me your wallet,” upon which she removes what she thinks is an appropriate sum. Most expensive plastic donuts ever!
Sometimes she puts money in, instead, through…
We’re two months into prohibition over here, so the rum’s all gone. I’m surrounded by sugar cane farms, so could theoretically try making my own, except we’re still not allowed to leave the house except to buy food. I don’t think illegally harvesting sugar cane outside of town qualifies as buying food.
We have a booming underground pineapple beer industry, though…
And I could swear I saw a guy at the supermarket the other day planning to make his own vodka – had a trolley full of potatoes, sugar and yeast.
The government is going to announce yeast is also not allowed to be sold any day now…
Christmas is a time to be with the ones you love. At least, that’s what all the movies and sentimental WhatsApp messages everyone keeps sending me tell me, so it must be true.
Anyway, my work includes some amount of travel, and every time the hardest part is saying goodbye to the Missus and the Minion. I usually go drop them off at the in-laws, so I know they’re not alone at home and that both sets of grandparents are close by to help out in a crisis.
But it doesn’t change the fact that I miss them like crazy, and that from the moment I wave goodbye to them before going through airport security I’m aching to get back to them.
My trip to Orlando this September was no exception, and was probably worse – how can one not dwell on family if you’re literally across the road from Disney Springs? How can I walk past a Princess Boutique and not want to take my little girl there, or visit Diagon Alley and not wish I could apparate my wife, who is as much a fan as I am, there with me?
Then I found the Lego store in Disney Springs, and decided to find my family…
Continue reading “Family”
Day 3. I am running out of time. No sight of the quarry yet. I did not expect this to be so hard. An inanimate object should not be this elusive. But it seems all the architects in this town did their work while smoking pot. And the realtors seem similarly stoned. Maybe it’s the heat.
I need to find something soon. For my wife’s sake. My child’s.
I’m dehydrated. I’m not sleeping any more. Yesterday I almost settled on a home with a room that can only be reached by ladder. I think the heat is getting to me.
I’m hopeful today will bring success. But I can’t help but feel I might not be the hunter here. As I drive down the street I can feel them watching me…stalking me…
Having been a dad for just over a week now I thought I’d share some of the wisdom I’ve acquired on
poo raising babies, just in case it can help another soon-to-be-dad to navigate the poo new little human in his house. The faint of heart (meaning 95% of men reading this) might want to stop here…
Continue reading “Parenting 101 – 10 Tips For New Dads (It’s mostly about poo)”