Ahoy there, landlubbers. Can ye believe it be that time o’ year again? It seems the winds o’ change be blowin’ by the years faster an’ faster an’ before we know it we’ll be plungin’ o’er the end o’ the world an’ into Davy Jones’ locker.
I were a bit conflicted ’bout this year’s International Talk Like A Pirate Day, as tonight also be the return o’ that fearless scallywag that calls he’self The Doctor. But by Neptune’s beard, I then recall’d that The Doctor he’self has sailed with buccaneers more ‘n once, an’ can resist the siren’s call, repel boarders, an vanquish the nasties o’ the deep with the best o’ them.
With his good ship TARDIS an’ his trusty cutl sonic in hand, a fiesty wench always at his side, none can stand ‘gainst this most terrible o’ pirates. It’s not for naught they call him the oncomin’ storm. Why, I reckon e’en the most blackest heartest buccaneer o’ them all, ole Blackbeard he’self, would want to cross swor screwdrivers with The Doctor.
So today I’ll be donning my pirate hat an’ me bow tie, and with me cutlass in one hand, an’ me sonic in the other, I’ll set my heading to wherever in time an’ space the plunder be best, the adventures be most excitin’, an the wenches be prettiest.
Geronim…I mean, ARRRRR!
The scribblin’ above as always provided by me wench.
I know, I know! I’ve been neglecting this blog something awful. I do mean to get things back on track again, but you know…
As a peace offering, might I offer you a tale of a grown woman hiding behind her couch from the neighbour kids while her husband does uncannily realistic dog impressions? Sounds like something you’d read?
Then have at it. Head on over to Dead Sea Diaries and have a guffaw at Something Wicked This Way Comesand while there, be a sport and leave Liese a comment. I know for a fact she loves getting them (but, then, don’t we all?)
If you want to take a shot at folding one yourself, here’s a video, but be warned, it will confound you and try you and leave you bleeding from a thousand-and-one paper cuts.
In honour of Star Trek and Star Wars fans bashing on each other (personally I stay out of that fight – like Harry Dresden’s apprentice, Molly, I believe it’s okay to like both), here’s a video on how Star Trek (the reboot) should have ended. The really good bit is at two minutes, thirty seconds.
Enjoy your Star Wars Day, whichever side of the force you serve.
Did you watch the first episode of Game of Thrones last night? Apparently it was already available on Saturday afternoon, along with episodes two, three and four. That’ll teach HBO to send advance copies to reviewers. According to TorrentFreak the first episode was downloaded over a million times during the first eighteen hours. So much for trying to keep anything secret in the digital age.
In 2012 Metro Trains in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia released a public service announcement in the form of a little animated video and song, titled Dumb Ways To Die. The video went viral on social media (in two years it has had over one hundred million views on YouTube), spawned a mobile game, and even yours truly have used it in a piece of short fiction.
The video has also inspired numerous parodies, the latest one featuring Game of Thrones which is, frankly, filled with dumb (or at least gruesome) ways to die. They have kept the words of the original, but the video depicts all of the most memorable deaths of the series thus far.
Spoiler alert: Don’t watch this if you haven’t yet watched season four/read A Feast for Crows. (And for goodness sake, stay away from the comments!)
I want to apologise for not having a fitting offering for April Fools this year. I’ve been trying to think of something since last week, but the perfect idea only hit me this afternoon, way too late to implement it. I’ll tell you this: next year’s April Fools will be legen…wait for it…
Instead, I’ll point you to the latest “improvement” devised by the…good people running WordPress.com, the AutoMatton.