Woe is me. I am finished, done for, kaput, klaar! It seems like only a month ago that I was celebrating life and revelling in my youthful vigour, even as I watched my Beloved descend into the vale of years, but alas, no more. Time has finally caught up with me, has sunk its claws into my flesh and will not let go, as today I join my Dearest at the ripe old age of thirty-two.
Even as I sit writing this I can feel the strength being sapped from my limbs and my senses growing dull. My faculties are slipping and my…what’s the word…mer…men…mem…memory is no longer what it used to be. I’ve already discovered one grey hair and I just want to nap all the time.
if all else fails...use a hammer 