Tag: humour

Winter is coming…

…to the Northern Free State.  Or rather, it has come.  Suddenly.  So suddenly that I keep looking out the window for a sign of the White Walkers while fretting at the total absence of obsidian in the house.  I don’t like it.

Just yesterday I was still walking around barefoot and in shorts.  Actually I did today as well, but today I seriously questioned the wisdom of that particular choice of attire.  Right now I’m sitting typing this with slippers on my feet and a little blanket covering my legs.  One would think I’m living in an old age home, for crying out loud.

I have a feeling we’re going to pay this year for the very mild winter we had last year.  Luckily we’re temporarily migrating to warmer climes for a few days before we have to surrender to the rigours of not-summer (and without the benefit of central heating and double-glazed windows, I might add).

It’s at times like these I wish hibernation was an option.

On Disappointment

Disappointment can strike at any time, it can take any form and come at you from any directions.  I was reminded of this hard truth yesterday.

The wife and I decided to eat out last night.  It’s not something we do very often, as it’s bloody expensive, so I was quite excited.  See, we have very limited options in our town, so we usually go to Spur, a Wild West inspired steak ranch chain you’ll find in any town in South Africa with more than two tarred roads.  And in this particular restaurant I always order the same thing.  Because I can make steak, ribs or burgers at home any time I like, but not eisbein.

Pickled Eisbein, with Sauerkraut. Eisbein is h...
Pickled Eisbein, with Sauerkraut. Eisbein is heavily marbled meat covered with a thick layer of fat. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

For those of you unfamiliar with German cooking, eisbein is, in a word, heaven.  Eisbein is a pig’s knuckle – that part of the pig’s foot directly adjacent to what would be the ankle in humans.  This restaurant grills it over open flames while basting it, leading to juicy pork meat encased in a crispy outer layer.  The ultimate eisbein experience occurs when it is served with that other divine German culinary invention, sauerkraut (sour cabbage), but as Spur serves it with fries and onion rings is just as nice.

Eisbein is a bit of a specialty item here and not that commonly (or cheaply) available (not to mention wildly unhealthy), and I don’t know how to cook it myself, so our infrequent visits to Spur is my only chance to enjoy eisbein.  But lo and behold, when I opened the menu last night, no eisbein.

They had removed it from the menu!

Needless to say, dinner was ruined.  I was forced to drown my sorrows in their “Warrior Combo”, a dietary travesty involving ribs, chicken, lamb chops and wors (South African sausage).  It just wasn’t the same.

What’s worse, I now have no idea when I’ll get to have eisbein again.  Life can be needlessly cruel at times, don’t you think?

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On a cure for procrastination

If you’ve ever wondered how procrastination works, it apparently involves a monkey.  I myself spend many hours every day in the Dark Playground.  But I think I might have stumbled upon a strategy that could keep the monkey at bay (cause let’s face it, if you work from home and get paid on a freelance basis you can’t bank on the Panic Monster coming to your rescue).  (If you have no idea what I just said you really should click on that link.  It’s a much better post than this one.)

I was put onto that brilliant explanation by Timothy Edwards, who reckons the solution is to plan so thoroughly that the monkey doesn’t get a chance to take over.  Sounds to me like something that belongs in the Dark Playground.  We’ll call it the “Spending All Your Time Making Plans To Spend Your Time More Effectively Merry-Go-Round”.

My idea, on the other hand, is foolproof.  I’m going to use a reward-system.  See, I have two major things need doing.  I need to get on track with my studies, and I need to finish the first draft of my novel.  (Okay, I need to start looking at a way of getting paid for counselling as well, and getting clients to counsel (I might have those two in the wrong order) but that’s rather dependant on finishing my degree, so let’s not worry about that just yet.)

Being a good writer de-motivation poster
So easy, yet so hard…

Studies and writing.  Both things that I actually enjoy if I truly get into them, but both things that I also heavily procrastinate for some very obscure reason.  Well, my strategy is to use one as a reward for completing the other.  For every five chapters I finish reading for my degree, I’ll allow myself to work on my novel.  And for every five thousand words I finish writing, I’ll allow myself to dig into the academics once again.

Sounds like a terrible plan, doesn’t it?  So terrible it just might work.  Hopefully it will confuse the monkey to such an extent that he’ll forget about Youtube (where I recently discovered the highly entertaining channel, How it should have ended – they remake the endings of popular movies so they make more sense), Facebook (more coming on their acquisition of WhatsApp as soon as I stop procrastinating) and the family tree I’ve started to construct in an attempt to discover my extended family (my grandfather Kokkie was an orphan, so apart from my father’s siblings and their children I have no knowledge of my extended family on his side).

What do you think?  Is my plan foolproof or am I merely a fool?  Hopefully I at least made you smile 😉

Song Title Challenge #36: Earache My Eye – Cheech and Chong

It’s time for this week’s Song Title Challenge.

Write a short piece of fiction, around 300 words, using the song title as your story title but don’t listen to the song.  You can pick your own genre or use the one suggested to me.  Remember to link back to this post so I can find yours.

If you would like to suggest a song title for a future post, you can do so from the challenge page.  You can also leave a suggestion on the Facebook page.

This week’s song is Earache My Eye by Cheech and Chong and the genre is Crime/Mystery.  It was suggested by bumblepuppies.

I have to say, I had fun with this one.  I’d love to know what you think.

Earache My Eye

Continue reading “Song Title Challenge #36: Earache My Eye – Cheech and Chong” →