On turning 100

This marks my 100th post on If all else fails…use a hammer (not counting reblogs – if I didn’t write them, they don’t count). I also considered not counting posts I imported from my first blog on Blogger, but that meant I’d have to do some math and I really didn’t feel like that. For the same reason I decided to count asides as posts even though they technically…aren’t.

So, this is post one hundred by solemn decree – mine.

To mark this auspicious occasion, I’m going to share with you 100 facts about me. I saw this on Brilliantly Novel and decided to ~~steal~~ borrow the idea. I hope you don’t mind that I ~~stole your idea~~ imitated you which they say is the sincerest form of flattery.

But without any further ado I give you…

100 FACTS ABOUT ME Continue reading “On turning 100” →

On home (mine)

I realise I’ve been giving myself (and this blog) over to a lot of rants recently. Sorry about that. Sometimes you just need to, you know, vent.

But today I’m going to remedy that. See, yesterday when I got home I saw to my great delight that my neighbour had returned. His name is Elmo.

Actually, I’m not sure if he’s name is really Elmo, or even if he’s really a he. But the wife and I named him Elmo because we like Elmo from Sesame Street (who doesn’t?), we have a friend named Elmo and it’s fun to say Elmo the emu. Oh, yeah! Elmo’s an emu. Meet Elmo.

Emu — My name is Elmo and I’m an emu.
Hello Elmo

Emu’s are large, flightless birds indigenous to Australia. They are the largest birds in Australia and second-largest in the world after the ostrich. Emus are farmed in Australia, the US, Peru and China for their meat, leather and oil made from their fat. I’ve never eaten emu. I have eaten ostrich (note: not “an ostrich” – that would be impossible).

Continue reading “On home (mine)” →

The Drive

I cannot seem to formulate a comment that adequately describes how this made me feel. Just read it and decide for yourself.

allmostrelevant

Last Friday, in one sitting, I drove from Orange County, California to Seattle, Washington, my old stomping grounds. I left at 6:00 am Friday and arrived at 2:00 am Saturday. This is a list of some of the things I saw:

-Pavement. Lots of pavement.

-The Horizon.

-The sunrise gradually warm the hazy skies over Los Angeles.

-A sprinkler spraying water over a dry field, but the water turned to mist in the heat and drifted away before it could hit the soil. When I drove past, it looked as though the sprinkler was tired of being a sprinkler, and wanted instead to be a rainbow machine.

-Miles of cows on a cattle farm. Typically I don’t measure livestock in units of distance, but here it was appropriate. I’m not sure what the proper unit to measure stench is, but let’s just say it was not mild.

-A cow carcass…

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Song Title Challenge #9: Staying Alive – The Bee Gees

It’s time for this week’s Song Title Challenge. It’s later than usual today. I’m out of song suggestions (hint, hint) so was working on a rewrite of an old one. You can see my first attempt at this title over on A Crucible of Scribes.

Write a short piece of fiction, around 300 words, using the song title as your story title but don’t listen to the song. Remember to link back to this post so I can find yours.

If you would like to suggest a song title for a future post, you can do so from the challenge page. You can also leave a suggestion on the Facebook page.

This week’s song is Staying Alive by The Bee Gees.

Feel free to comment/criticise/mock relentlessly – whatever floats your boat.

Staying Alive

Continue reading “Song Title Challenge #9: Staying Alive – The Bee Gees” →

On fixing what ain’t broke

I’m human (for those of you who were wondering), and like most humans, I’m not completely comfortable with change. We like the familiar. That’s why we invent traditions and customs – to ensure future generations do things the same way as us so that we don’t have to change.

However, along with a significantly smaller proportion of the world’s population, I also recognise the need for change. As stated previously, without change we run a big risk of stagnating. Blindly adhering to tradition is usually more damaging than not adhering to tradition at all.

But, and this is a big but, change for the sake of change is pointless, causes unnecessary stress and just makes life difficult. Continue reading “On fixing what ain’t broke” →